Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Indeed a happy weekend

It is true that happiness comes in small packages. What matters most is the way we welcome them. Being in love and giving our best of time for every little thing that bypasses our journey of life can lead us to unexpected yet pleasant surprises.

It was already 8:30am when I woke up. Nothing seemed unusual except that it was Sunday, in other words it was off day J . Noticing the empty living room and unlatched door I learned that Grandpa didn’t return from his morning walk. I went out and studied the weather which was marked with slight drizzle with accompanying fog that blurred the clarity of one’s vision. I got back inside and against the will of my lazy soul that demanded some more sleep, I got myself freshened up. I was in the middle of preparing breakfast when Grandpa creaked open the door and stepped inside.” No sunshine on Sunday” he commented with a teasing smile as he made his way towards his room. “Thank god I don’t need to wash my clothes” I joked wearing a crooked smile. After half an hour we were enjoying the breakfast while making plans for the day. I blamed weather for being dull as the option to go out seemed inappropriate. Finally as the plate in front of eyes got emptied we came up with a plan to make momo and treat our stomach.

After washing the dishes I \went back on sofa and turned on the TV to let the breakfast settle before actually starting with the momo preparation while grandpa got busy with his prayer beads. At around 11:00 am I found myself restless so thought no time is better than this to start with the preparation. I prepared the dough while grandpa chopped the cabbages. After the mixture for stuffing and dough was ready, grandpa rolled the dough flat while I filled it with stuffing and folded into the perfect shape. At around 3:30pm our momo was ready for serving. I found myself hard to hold back my salivation. To my surprise the momo turned out to be really delicious and all the credit goes to this dull weather. Had it not been for its dullness I won’t be able to come up with the perfect plan for weekend that satisfied both my heart and stomach. After a hearty treat that succeeded in contending our stomach we once again settled ourselves to watch TV.

It was not long when grandpa started to dose off still holding the prayer bead between his forefinger and the thumb. That very sight of him took me back to our college days when we had to battle with our sleepy eyes during exam time. At one end there was a huge portion of syllabus yet to be covered draining all our energy rendering us completely exhausted. On the other end our sleepy eyes constantly demanded for a peaceful sleep that made our eyelids seem heavier than our body weight. So I tabbed slightly on grandpa’s shoulder to wake him up and suggested to sleep comfortably on the bed. I too found myself bored with the TV and so I went into the room and started to read the novel titled “The Fault in Our Stars” by John Green. I cannot remember when I fell asleep but I woke up to find that I slept for almost four hours and the clock was already indicating 7:50 pm. “That was quite a sleep” I smirked at myself. I heard grandpa chanting the prayer so I moved towards kitchen to prepare the dinner.

At around 9:30 pm we had our dinner and after that we had a happy conversation and laughs on the random topics before grandpa went to bed. I too went into my room but the peaceful sleep in the afternoon left me with devoid of sleep in my eyes. So I thought of watching a movie and started rummaging through the folders in my laptop. In the process of searching for a nice movie I encountered a folder loaded with the photos of my college days.  I started viewing those photos and was overwhelmed with emotions when the memories flashed back vividly. At one moment I was laughing my heart out looking at the funny posture we maintained to pose for a snap. And the next moment I found myself terribly missing those days and yearned for my friends to be here with me. I was so engrossed with those photos reminiscing college days that I failed to notice how quickly it was already past mid-night. At around 1:00am I cautioned myself that it is better to sleep now or I will be having tough time in the office the next day.
Obedient to my heart, I switched off the light and curdled up under the warm blanket with an earphone in the ears listening to “Chasing the sun” by Hilary Duff. As she sang the lines:

“love the life I live
And I will live the life I love
Open up my eyes and I will take whatever comes
I’m chasing the sun…x3
I won’t miss out on the fun
Gotta get it while our hearts are young
I’m chasing the sun
Oooh oooh oooh”

I found myself smiling realizing that happiness need not necessarily come from huge success and greatest achievements. The way we enjoy the current moment and self-satisfaction plays vital role in leading a happy life. With that thought in my mind and sweet voice with equally sweet lyrics in my ear, I fell asleep satisfied that it was indeed a happy weekend.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Individual Preferences

“It is going to rain for the whole day again” announced my Grandpa while taking off his slippers and entering the house returning from his morning walk. He then motioned himself towards the Choesham (altar room) to chant his morning prayers. Meanwhile I got busy with morning chores. When I was ready with the breakfast, Grandpa already finished his prayers and was seated on sofa watching TV. We had fried rice and a tea for breakfast and after that I went into my room for office get up. “Awooo …I don’t feel like going to office in this rain and it has been more than a week raining continuously.” I complained while coming out of my room. I unplugged my phone from the charger, grabbed my bag and merged towards the door. “Don’t forget the umbrella” Grandpa reminded me and I had to reverse my steps back to get an umbrella.

I was on the road sheltered under my dull umbrella with not so happy face waiting for the bus. It took unusually longer time for the bus to arrive which only intensified my unwillingness to go for work. The weather was actually a perfect one to remain curdled up on the sofa by a warm blanket with a cup of hot coffee and a nice movie to treat my eyes. I was lost in an imaginary world wherein I pictured myself into the phantomized scene of my desire before the sight of two little girls brought me back to reality. Those two girls were the regular students studying at Langthel lower secondary school and I presumed they were sisters. My presumption was proven correct when seemingly a year younger called another one by the name “Anna” and I found the corner of my lips curving into a smile.

What caught my attention was not the way two of them called each other rather it was the way they got themselves so wet. I know it is raining but from my point of view the rain isn't that kind of down pour to get heavily soaked even if you are missing your umbrella. To my bewilderment I noticed both of them had their pretty umbrellas firmly placed in the side pockets of their school bags. Suddenly the younger sister went near the side drain that was running partially full with rainwater and started throwing the water over her sister. The elder sister returned the favor with the equal throw of water. I was overwhelmed and equally amazed by the way they enjoyed that water fight making all those splashing sounds of water corresponding to the rhythm in which they hit the water.

So it is clear that they got themselves drained this wet through their playful act regardless of the intensity of the rain. I found myself enjoying the sight of their water fight but sadly our bus arrived and so I had no option but to leave that sight and get into the bus. In the bus by the window side as usual, my mind was still filled with those two sisters and their love for rain. It is indeed a matter of individual preferences; where I hated even to get out in that rain, those little sisters enjoyed playing in the very same rainy weather. So we cannot blame anyone for not making up to our expectation or having differences because the way things are perceived and preferred differs individually.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Moral of Your Story

“Ahhh…NOT AGAIN” grumbled Ongmo after hearing loud yelling followed by breaking sounds. It was only about an hour she had a sound sleep until she had to wake up to hear the quarrels between her parents. Quarrels, blaming, tantrums and yelling were the part of a day which Ongmo had to unwilling witness or hear just because she was not born blind and deaf. But in a process she surely became partly mute as none of her parents had time to hear what she has to say.

There seldom used to be a day when Ongmo’s parents did not argue. Mostly her parents would quarrel at night resulting in sleepless night for her. Sometimes they put on a show at a breakfast table giving Ongmo ample of reason to remain moody and low spirited for the whole day. The main reason for the arguments has always been the drinking habit of her father. Ongmo’s father possessed a personality that gets aggressive once the alcohol settles inside his body.

Ongmo had grown up hearing many stories related to her parent’s life. One of the most prominent was the one which highlights “Unpleasant childhood days of her father”. Her father used to tell her how he suffered managing his time for studies while taking care of his alcoholic brother. The so called alcoholic brother was Ongmo’s late uncle who died as a victim of a cancer resulting from excessive alcohol consumption.

At one end Ongmo really felt pitifully sorry for her father having to go through those awful days. At such a young and delicate age, it surely is not an easy task to manage a balance between the role as a student and responsibility as a brother. On the other end she was never able to understand why her father should be fond of drinking when he clearly knows that it was the reason for messing up his childhood days. What is so tempting in the alcohol that he can forget his bitter past and enjoy it so greedily?

After going through yet another sleepless night, Ongmo got up with a plan in her mind, a plan that might help to break a nut shell that has encased her father. As usual they had their breakfast and across the dining table, Ongmo clearly saw the puffy eyes of her mother which gave her an acute heartache. She loathes seeing that look on her mother’s face and that made more vivid her determination to give a try what she planned to do despite the fear towards her father.

In the vehicle, on the way to her school, which was about 45 minutes drive from their house, Ongmo took a step to bring her plan in action and so she asked her father to tell the story of his childhood again. Though her father was not in a good mood to narrate a story but on Ongmo’s repeated request, he told her the story. This time he kept the story short and it was like a summarized version outlining mainly the misery he went through at that time. After the story ended, Ongmo asked “Dad, what is the moral of your story?” to which her father responded “What do you mean by the moral of my story?” She could see the lines on her father’s forehead wrinkling into a frown which silently cautioned her to be careful with her words.

So now the time for a climax she thought. With a smile she said, “Dad, every time we read a story in the class, our class teacher always ends with the moral of that story so I was wondering what could be the moral of the story I just heard”. Her father with a confused mind said “What do you think is the moral; I mean what lesson you learned out of my story?”. “Bingo” said Ongmo to herself silently because the plan was working out the way she wanted it to. As the vehicle stopped to halt near her school gate, Ongmo faced her father and without a bit of hesitation, looked directly in to his eyes and said;

Well dad, I have learned that drinking alcohol is injurious to the health of both the consumer as well as the people surrounding them. It is injurious to the consumer as it gradually takes away his life. On the other hand it disturbs the healthy and peaceful environment around the surrounding people. From what I have been observing, alcohol makes a person selfish and he gets blinded with his own satisfaction and heart’s contentment that he fails to see what is happening to the surrounding people. Lastly, as I am a girl my moral of your story is that “Never marry a man obsessed with drinking habit”. If you want to know the reason why then that is because; I cannot sleep after an argument with my husband in place of singing lullaby to my child. I don’t dare to wake up myself with the swollen eyes in front of my child”.

After that Ongmo got out of the car and was heading towards the school when suddenly she stopped and turned around to say; “Dad I have told you what I have learnt but make sure to tell me what you have learned because I really want to know with what intended moral you have been narrating this story so frequently to me”. With that sentence and a forceful grin on her face Ongmo resumed her steps towards the school gate.

Friday, August 8, 2014

A Good Listener

A little bit of kind gesture is all it takes to help someone get through with the ongoing unkind situations. A sweet act of lending our ears proves to be rather compassionate for, someone who is shattered by the cruel reality and bitter truth; someone whose heart has been broken down to a countless pieces; someone trying hard to get back their senses together after going insane by the boundless sorrows; someone who is stepping forward from the momentary halt the life has bestowed upon them; someone finally showing up to move towards the right path having lost in the jigsaw puzzles of a life.

Taking time and patiently listening to what a shattered heart has to say, may not necessarily change the reality or reverse the truth but it will shed the burden and make them lighter at heart. By listening to the words of broken pieces of a heart, we may not be able to mend those ruptured pieces together but it will give them morale boost to withstand further breakage. Listening sensibly to someone going insane with the sorrows may not diminish their sorrows but help them get the grip of life. Listening to someone stuck on a halt of a life will let them feel less lonely and find in you a companion to walk the journey of life. Listening to puzzled heart helps untangle the confusions and let them find the right track.

No one has the future forecasted before hand and so are the uncertainties vivid and adamant with its stand. Don’t be miser in offering your attention to someone who is really in need. Don’t ignore them when they approach you because you don’t have any idea how much courage they had to sum up just to think of  your help. Dedicating some time to hear them out will not post a threat to the duration of your living. No one knows what the future holds and who knows you may be the very next person to seek the attention and yearn for a listener. So be kind enough to listen to someone wholeheartedly. Be a good listener for you never know how much you could help someone by just being a keen listener while standing beside him/her.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Unspoken words.

Never did I imagine that there will come a day when I will write this article. It is indeed very much true that life is uncertain and we cannot predict what is next in the store for us. Moving on with the flow of life and following the direction of its lead, I somehow feel that there is something that is left undone. A feeling of incompleteness keeps digging down to the very veins of my soul.
“Enough is enough” is what my heart whispered and continued:

You have done enough of pretending to deceive others and your own self so that the things may seem to be doing fine all the way. But dear trust me, you are not fine that way and it is making me harder to hold it back any longer. I just want to liberate myself of the suffocation and wear off the mask of deception. Just let me pour out for once and I assure you I will be much stronger henceforth and never let you down.”

Having listened to the plea of my heart, I felt it is time I let go of my stubbornness. I clearly understand what my heart means by those lines. It has been almost five years that I have been suffocating myself with the guilt and anger battling violently in my heart. At one end guilt taunted me with perfect reasons ripping the very piece of my heart. Yet at the other end anger saves its stand stubbornly giving every reason to remain indifferent.

Not anymore now. It is extremely difficult to end each passing day with those battling thoughts before I could fall asleep. Today as the world celebrates “Friendship day”, I with all my heart and soul would like to take this opportunity and tell you what remained untold. This is to you, my only best friend (Late Sonam Lhamo):

“My dear, it has been quite a time since I last spoke with you. I hope heaven is treating you well with all the kindness you deserve. Don’t be surprised to hear me speaking today. I could not find any better day but today to speak those unspoken words with you. I know you are no longer here by my side to hear out right from my mouth. I guess I took much longer time than required for this right? But you know how strong my stubbornness is right and I am so sorry for that childish behavior of mine.

I wanted to beg forgiveness for what I have done. I am so sorry for not making myself present by your side when you needed me the most. It would be a lie if I say I know how you have felt undergoing those painful treatments because in order to understand that pain I must also be cursed by that cruel disease. Though I respect the god’s blessing for my good fortune yet I blame him for choosing you as a victim for that awful disease. There is no way I could understand the pain resulted from that disease. But I am being truly honest when I say; I know how miserable it feels when the one you trust and depend on, leave you alone. I understand the feeling of despair when there is no one to console and help you out of that excruciatingly painful situation.

I am also upset that you didn't let me know about your disease. It is only after you left that I came to learn about your situation. It left me torn apart to know that you kept it hiding from me. You didn’t even let parents say a word to me about that. I know you did that for my good. You didn’t want me to get distracted from my studies. You should have known that by being so good to me that way, you have deepened my wound. You should have known that your friend is not so weak in balancing responsibility towards relationship and determination towards goal. I think now you are clear what took me so long right dear?

There is not a single day that ends without missing you. You were the only one I could trust to share my secrets. You were the only one I could lean on. It is only with you that I could be all myself. You know very well that I am one of those who tend to be silent most of the time except for the time I am with you. Now that you have left my side I don’t know how to speak merrily with others and I doubt I may go mute if I keep going that way. But don’t trouble yourself worry about that, I assure you I have grown up to be strong enough to handle the situations quite well.

Dear I think I have said enough now but the last thing “HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY” to you my best friend. You have always been and will always be my best friend forever.